It may have reached that point in the holidays when you are gathering school uniform, debating the merits of the school shoes they love versus the school shoes you think are more sensible and you are starting to see the signs of some start of term anxiety from your child.
It can be difficult as a parent to know how to handle these pre-September jitters but we hope this advice from our Mental Health Lead and fellow parent, Madeleine Willis will help.
Remember it's normal to feel anxious and that's true for both parents and children! Children will also mirror your own worries. Are you concerned about school run logistics, feeling overwhelmed by equipment lists? Your child will pick up on this and may associate negative emotions with returning to school. So try and make preparations for school fun - attach happy future moments to what you are doing to prepare, especially for younger children - "Imagine how much playing you are going to do in the school playground in these new trainers. What do you think you and your new friends will do?"
All children, but especially anxious ones or those starting at a new school, may find it helpful to have a clear plan of what will happen. Talk through how drop-off and pick-up from school will work. You could even practise the journey. Break down information into small bite-sized chunks so your child doesn't feel swamped with information overload. Our new pupils' tea before the start of term is a great way to "dry run" getting ready for school, putting on your uniform, and navigating to the classroom so that you and your child both feel ready when term starts.
As we get closer to the start of term, try to get your child back into a school routine. Make sure bedtimes and waking up are in line with when they will need to be in September so this doesn't come as a shock. Nothing is worse than having to get a grumpy teenager out of bed when they are not used to the routine!
Talk positively about school. It is totally normal to enjoy the holidays more than term-time but for your child there will be lots of excitement about starting in September: a new school year; being with friends every day; new challenges and opportunities. Build your child's confidence with specific praise to remind them of the skills they have and can rely on when they are back to school - praise them for being a good listener, working hard, caring about other people. Feeling positive about themselves will help them negotiate any early ups and downs with confidence. In the same vein, encourage older children to tackle any holiday work they may have been set. Leaving it to the last moment will only cause panic - however hard they try and convince you otherwise!
Remember that the start of the year can be bumpy. It is normal for all of us to take a little while to settle into something new so don't expect your child to take everything in their stride straight away. Try to get to know your child's teachers early. It helps your child to know we are all on the same team and will help you feel reassured about any hiccups in the first few weeks. Our parents' coffee mornings run as a drop-in every Wednesday morning and are a good way to meet other parents and staff who may be able to help you with queries in the first weeks, as you navigate a new year group or a new school. Don't expect a detailed run down of their day, especially at the start of term! Younger children may have done so many things that they simply cannot remember and older children may need more time to process their day and may well feel they are being interrogated when asked, with the best intentions, "How was your day?" Try framing questions about the day in a positive light and making them specific to help your child remember, "What was the best lesson you had today?"
Finally, make sure you have your own support crew in place! If your child is starting school it can feel a bit odd when you suddenly don't have them with you. If your child is moving into secondary school that can feel a big transition for parents too. It's ok if it takes you a while to adjust as well! Remember we are all here to help so please do reach out to your child's form tutor or to our section heads, whatever your concern or question and we will do our best to reassure you.
We are excited about the promise of a new school year and all the excitements it holds and we want you and your family to feel the same. We can't wait to welcome you all in September!